My apologies for my silence these past few months.
At the beginning of this year, I wasn’t doing so well: still very fatigued and depressed as I continued to struggle in my recovery from a traumatic brain injury (TBI).
But then things changed.
Between some extremely effective Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy for my numerous traumas (multiple car accidents and a throw from a horse: all within less than a year a few years back) and changing to a much better line of supplements/nutraceuticals, Life started to finally shift in a positive direction. It was such a relief, after years of struggle and feeling like crap, to feel human again! It was the hope I so desperately needed.
I felt restless and was itching to move forward in my healing process, and my Life in general: to break free of the past, these traumas, the struggle, the emotional and physical pains and challenges…
I was ready to embrace the possibility of regaining my health, vitality and happiness.
This isn’t to say I didn’t seek health, vitality and happiness since all of these incidents occurred. Far from! I have sought these out from day one, but there was a part of me that wasn’t “ready” to receive them. I honestly believe I had very important lessons to learn from my struggles, which I can now use to uplift and support you, and my clients, on your own journey.
See, knowing both sides of the coin in a healing process (both the person seeking help, and the one providing it), I understand first-hand how we can end up stuck in a rut, feeling despair, hopeless, depressed, etc. Though our ultimate goal (at least mine, anyway) is to break free from the struggle, there’s a bit of comfort and identity with our “condition” that can be difficult to let go.
This can sound very odd, I know, but people identify with what’s wrong with them. Just listen to people you encounter on a regular basis. How many of them constantly talk about their disease, condition or pain? Yep, I know people like that, such that Susie becomes synonymous with back pain, or Grandpa with his arthritis. Get the idea? Yet so many don’t even realize that they’re doing it, and even if they are aware, won’t make the effort to change and embrace the possibility of knowing life any differently.
Some people are not ready to give up that part of their identity. Why? Maybe because it gives them something to talk about when they don’t have anything else to say to someone. Maybe their story elicits the sympathy and attention they’ve been craving. I’m sure it’s different for everyone.
I realized that I mentioned my TBI A LOT, and that it was almost always brought up in conversation. Not sure why I did this, but I did. There was a part of me that, at first, didn’t want anyone to know, and then later, a part that wanted everyone to know. So when things started to shift in the positive direction that I’d been seeking for so long, I had to do some serious thinking. Who am I NOW, living with a TBI, but also living my life without it being my main focus?
There had to be a new relationship with myself and my “conditions,” such that I honor their existence, but that they no longer get to have all of my attention and energy, like a parasite feeding on my soul.
In my professional practice, I run into skeptics from time to time, who think that the lasting and life-changing results I deliver just aren’t possible. Often this is brought about by societal or personal influence. Maybe an article you read or a doctor once told you that nothing is ever going to change for the better. You’re as good as you’re going to get. End of story.
With a TBI, it’s a very real possibility. Only time will tell which symptoms will improve, let alone IF they will. But what if I decided that I was going to challenge the limiting beliefs I had about what will/would change? What if I decided I am so much more than a person who’s been through multiple eating disorders, multiple traumas, and lives with brain damage? These things have shaped Me and my life, but they are not synonymous with either. I get to define who I am.
Audrey Hepburn once said:
Nothing is impossible, the word itself says ‘I’m possible.’
This is so true, especially when it comes to our own health and happiness.
Are there things that we cannot change? Yes, of course. My legs will never naturally be longer than they are. My eyes will naturally be blue my entire life. Yet we DO have the choice to first accept and embrace certain truths, but then keep challenging the status quo and our own personal limiting beliefs about our situation. Just because someone tells us, “It’s all downhill from here,” or “this is as good as it gets,” doesn’t mean we have to accept or believe it, even if the research and data are behind it.
We always have a choice.
I’ve chosen possibility: possibility to create the life I desire, no matter what anyone else thinks or says.
What will you choose?